MIS.UN.DER.STOOD

This should be my middle name.

I hope your week didn't end the shameful way mine did. Burdened, bitter, bullied. That was how I felt when my week ended.

I always say this and I will say it again: Don't give me drama unless you are paying me to be in one. But people never listen do not care and never will.

I thought I had a decent Friday. Even though weekends and weekdays don't make a difference to me, I wanted to enjoy this long weekend like the rest of my friends.

I woke up so happy yesterday. In fact, I woke up the best way - laughing. I was gonna meet a friend, head for an awesome dinner after, and end the night early again. Mummy even bought my usual favourites for lunch.

Just as I was leaving home, a text came in. And that did it. My whole day was spoilt.

I wish I didn't give the sender (of that text) this power over me, but hey, looks like I did! What she said was enough to bring my spirits down.

I won't divulge what went down mainly because I will get sued. No really, that was the very threat in her text. But here's the point of this post - I did not deserve any of that at all. So why? Why me?

Did I do what I was accused of? No.

Did someone communicated something I said wrongly? Yes. That person even admitted so and briefly apologised.
Was I backstabbed? Maybe!

Did the person who sent me the text already have a prejudice against me? I believe so.

Did I tell the person she was wrong in judging me the way she did? Yes, but that got more hate texts sent my way.

In short, this was a miscommunication gone very wrong.

On one hand, someone neglected to convey a message properly - although I don't know if it was essential in the first place. As in, I don't know how it was needed for the work to get done. I won't be surprised if the context of their conversation was plain gossip.

On the other hand, the person who got offended already haboured ill feelings towards me. Since our last few phone conversations ended with her shouting at me, I believe that's more than a sign right? (OK Mel, time to stop sounding so tentative.) That is EXACTLY how you treat a person you do not like!

All this boil down to one thing: Pettiness. Unnecessary? I say very!

When I was young, I couldn't wait to become an adult. One of the reasons were simply because I would be away from childishness. But I learnt the hard way that one can never run away from childishness when there's so much hate in this world.

Hate. Some people love to feel it.

Hate is so amazing because it drives people to do the most ridiculous things while making them think they are perfectly justified in doing so.

And people usually feel hate because of jealousy. This is one poison I'd love to kill............ But the sad thing is, life won't make sense anymore if no one feels hate or jealousy. So I can't avoid this. I just have to suck it up!

But you know what can be avoided? Crazy people and miscommunication! This is how I am so misunderstood!

When I'm misunderstood, I feel like I'm threading on thin ice. I hate that feeling! On one hand, I knew I did nothing wrong. On the other, I couldn't sound too defensive or I'll look guilty. Then again, when you are trying to reason with a person who simply hates you, it makes more sense to argue with a drunk one.

And that's where I got stuck because I felt like there was nothing I could do. Helplessness................ yet another feeling I hate. So that was how my Friday ended. Going to bed feeling helpless coupled with fear and bitterness - all over a miscommunication and a person blinded with hate.

I thought I have been doing a great job in staying away from crazy people. I hardly go out anymore! But all it took was for me to step into an event on Thursday, and Friday met its fate.

I don't mind people with issues. EVERYONE has issues. It's only normal. Only abnormal people don't have issues - or so they think...

But what sets a normal person aside from a crazy one is that the latter thinks he/she has the right to burden others with his/her issues without considering the consequences of his/her actions.

On another note... You know when people say "oh sorry, it was just a miscommunication", it feels like they are not a wee bit sincere or do not see a big deal out of it. That fucking infuriates the shit out of me. Yes, it is not a big deal when you are comparing it to global warming and wars! Due to yesterday's "miscommunication", there were horrible consequences that I had to bear. And for what? Why me? So why miscommunicate in the first place? Because you don't have the ability to communicate properly? Should I then assume and accept that you have no common EQ and sense? Most of all, why get yourself involved?

Miscommunication occurs also when people have noises in their head. I believe that played a big part in yesterday's drama too. People with noises in their head have this special ability to make trouble out of thin air, and that was how I became so misunderstood.

So was this misunderstanding intentional? I honestly think so. It is most of the time anyway.

Hence, when you have a bad day and go, "Why must they make life difficult for me?" It's simply because they want to bring you down. They will take whatever you say out of context, twist facts in their favour, cloud judgements with hate messages. They will make the ground you stand on so shaky, you feel like you're left with no other choice but to run. Like I said, it's like threading on thin ice.

I don't know why I get dragged into fights or have trouble created for me too many times. Maybe people do see my entertainment value! Hahaha...

My friends keep telling me that I'm just a very misunderstood being. They say it's not fair, because "haters" simply want to make their interpretation based on rumours before facts. My sense of humour gets twisted and I become a liar/bitch/horrible person/The Apocalypse etc. Yep, too true.

One thing's for sure - it's them, not me. They are the ones with issues to burden others with.

ANYTHING I do is wrong as long as they can find some little loop hole to pick on. If not, they will make something up. Shit can fly my way any time even when I'm purely minding my own business (which was the case for this incident).

This whole thing taught me I can't assume people have the normal amount of intelligence despite the jobs they have. Never joke with them, treat them as equals, assume they get your sense of humour or assume they understand the simple English coming out of your mouth. People are stupid, Mel!

(Isn't it strange then, that when time calls for ass-covering, they become so smart all of a sudden and pull out more tricks in the book than you can think of?)

I realised I just have to play it safe, assume everyone is stupid so multiple explanations are critical, and get down to business and business ONLY.

No point in being friendly and having a nice conversation with someone who is not my friend, because a conversation with a non-friend can turn out to be a harmful weapon and friendliness can be taken as a weakness.

(Sigh......... I only have to do this in Singapore!)

I know I didn't do anything wrong. My conscience is clear. So hate me all you want, bring me down with all your might but I won't budge. Too bad for you, I won't let you think for a second that you can make me look guilty.